


Aftermath of Fallen Leaves

by The Raven Sennin (The_Raven_Sennin)



Series: Team Anko, Final Rev [7]
Category: Naruto, The Sphere (Megacrossover Verse)
Genre: AU, Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Canon is Dead to Us, Fantasy, MagiPunk, Ninjapunk, megacrossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 12:48:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6195712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Raven_Sennin/pseuds/The%20Raven%20Sennin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sarutobi's lesson to Naruto is actually from "A Month as Naruto Uzumaki" from Angel of Snapdragons, and the start of the quoted text links to such. The line that frames it as guidelines to act clear headed in that anger was suggested by beta Ed Becerra. My thanks to both, and please do read Angel's fic.</p>
        </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lirial89](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lirial89/gifts), [rake1810](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rake1810/gifts), [LitaJ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LitaJ/gifts), [EdBecerra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdBecerra/gifts), [LectorEl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LectorEl/gifts).



_That was the day everything changed.  
_ _\-- "A History of Konoha", Haruno Sakura_

**1636 h. Hokage's Office.**

Sarutobi took in the preliminary report on his desk. Little more than a list, really. The barest of details culled together by Eiji, Ibiki, and the latter's secretary.

But Konoha would be wearing sakura blossoms tomorrow for her dead.

From their Oinin:

Chuunin Koizumi Yuuko, _21, f, 011669_. Sensor, tracker. Survived by a mother and two brothers, one serving.

Jounin Rock Tai, _26, m, 011978_. Master Submissionist and Subduer. Survived by... the whole Rock clan, really, but directly by a father, wife, and daughter.

Special Jounin Kita Ryouichi, 29, _m, 011523_ \-- Shurikenjutsu master. Survived by a pregnant wife of the Yamanaka.

From the Joukou's T&I division:

Chuunin Hyuuga Eri, _23 f, 011539_. Excellent at her clan's Jonen sub-style. Survived by her mother.

Chuunin Sato Shouta, _20, m, 011093_. There mainly because he spoke several Fioren dialects. Survived by the uncle that raised him, a wife, and two kids.

Team Thirty-Eight, on a routine border patrol mission:

Jounin Sensei Shizuka Sachiko...

"No," Hiruzen said, before crossing that out and correcting it.

Jounin Sensei Uzumaki Sachiko. _35, F, 010228._ She would be memorialized as who she was. A combat inin, who had attained that rank through self training and impressing Tsunade. Immediate family gone, survived by the cousins she was quite close to and the orphan student she had covertly adopted into her clan.

Chuunin Fukioka Yuuka, _17, f, 011402_. Kenjutsu with a water nature. There was a promotion notice he was going to send out once she had returned from this. Hiruzen corrected her listed rank to Tokojou. Last of her line.

Chuunin Wakahisa Aya, _18, f, 011408_. A sensor of exceptional range, from a family of such. Survived by her mothers, the 'uncle' who was her biological father, and two little brothers.

The only of his nin to survive was Sachiko's adoptive daughter, and one had to dig for the why.

From the survivor's accounts, and the account of this... 'August of House Blake', Tani Sarubo had been relentlessly broadcasting his ki throughout the encounter. That was not natural for a psychologically sound individual. Humans in general wanted to get along, to fit in with their group-- they were social animals.

Broadcasting ki like that ultimately said 'you are all meaningless to me'. It was half the reason Tani, even out of shape, could rage through eight of his supposed comrades.

All that stopped his rampage was the Tokujou's choice of specialties... and which one she choose to use.

Kuzuko practiced two styles. She had learned Gouken as an offensive option because her initial choice was Tetsu Choutei. The fact that Choutei could be read as both a word for meditation and shellfish was no coincidence. Tetsu Choutei originated among the Samurai, and was a bodyguard's art.

When Tani Sarubo entered the 'shell of awareness' Kuzuko cultivated, his ki was not met by ki. It was met by a calm willingness to give, a stillness in the face of violence, a devotion that seemed to feel alien to him.

Sarubo could not fathom the self sacrifice the nin before him so readily displayed.

No nin of the Leaf should cultivate such an attitude. Danzou had once executed one of his Ne captains for acting out a worldview half as dire.

Hiruzen gritted his teeth, and rose. He had to find Naruto.

Teaching a lesson was a good way of reminding himself of one, and there was a lesson he deeply wanted to teach Naruto today.

##

**1645 h. The Streets of Konoha.**

When Ami-nee had come to get him, the reaction of the three Seals with him was instant and smooth. Chiaki, Mako, and Genta had formed around them as if it was a daily thing. About a block away from the Townhouse, Sai dropped from the roofs, gave a couple of gossiping housewives his 'I know you know it's fake' smile, and had taken point in the Manji formation.

A block and a half after that, two men emerged from the crowd. One was dressed in a kimono so ornate it belonged in a play-- which was likely what its wearer had come from. The other man wore a more work-a-day business set, which only looked odd because he was clearly from outside the Tenkairiku.

The two men dropped to the classic samurai before their lord stance, each on one knee... but did not hold it long.

"My lord," the one in theatre gear said.

"Who would call that brat lord--"

The stout foreigner spun on his heel, making the man who had spoke stumble back. "My sensei will address the head of the Uzumaki as he sees fit," the man said, and his Higo was astonishingly fluent. "Your opinion of the matter means little. And before you question Naruto-sama's right to the title... you know what, just _don't._ "

"Richard--" the other man began.

"Sensei," the stout man said, "it may be a matter of Fioren honour versus Hi manners, but otherwise feels wrong."

"I was merely going to ask you not get physical with the poor fool," his sensei noted.

The stout Fioren's eyebrows threatened to clear his brow. "I... would not consider him worth that effort."

"Then I gave you too little credit," the man in theatre gear said, smirking briefly. He turned back to Naruto. "Uzumaki-sama."

"Is it too much to ask you keep calling me Naruto, Ryuu-nii?" Naruto pouted. And it was a pout this time, it was what he needed.

Ikenami Ryuunosuke smiled. "I may refer to you as Lord or Naruto-sama in public, so that certain elements--" the actor's eyes darted to glare at the man who spoke earlier, who seemed to increasingly want to disappear as more and more of his neighbors and passers by seemed to not appreciate his comments-- "know that the time ridiculous statements will be excused due to grief or rage has past." The tall, dark brown haired and willowy man cast his gaze back to the young nin before him, and reached out to ruffle his hair. "Do not take it as a dimming of my affection for you." He indicated the man traveling with him. "My student in matters samurai and theatre, Brown Richard."

"Richard," Naruto managed, and the stout man smiled.

"Ikenami-san--" Ami began.

"Ah. Of course," Ryuunosuke said, taking in his three fellow Seals and the Konoha nin in a manji formation around Naruto and his cousin. "Nin-san, if you trust this humble bushi, you could take to the roofs...?"

"I am Sai," the Ne said. "And I would never question an Ikenami's devotion to the Uzumaki. I have heard much of your skill at Nami Houkaiken. Please, live up to the reputation."

 _Fuck,_ Naruto reflected, _when Sai lets his feelings show, it hurts._

The Seal nodded at the Ne's earnest look. "I will not betray your trust... or your guardian's."

Sai nodded back, a small smile on his face, and took to the roofs.

"Likely a bunch of KeiBu and ANBU up there too," Naruto reflected.

"True," Ryuunosuke said, unsealing a sword and settling it ready at his side. "But while we are not merely here for show... the show is important. We are going...?"

"Clan meeting. News," Ami said, giving no more than she had when picking Naruto up.

##

**Konoha Hospital.**

"Izumo-san!"

The gate guard raised his head and managed a weak grin. "Sakura. Lucky you, you arrived just when they got me to the point I can form nasals again." He blinked at the woman accompanying the young Haruno, and made to sit up. "Airi-sama!"

The elder reached out and placed a restraining hand on his chest. "A medical examiner is still a doctor, boy. You stay down."

"Of... of course, Haruno-sama," Izumo managed.

Sakura placed a hand on the gate guard's shoulder. "Izumo-san. I'm so sorry-- if I had told you more--"

Izumo waved the apology off. "All the warning in the world... he was the Flash's right hand, sure as the Toughest Love was Minato-sama's left. The man lived up to his name even half to seed as he is. I'm worried if we leave him loose too long..."

Sakura nodded. She'd read the history. A Tani Sarubo even halfway back to his prime would be even more of a nightmare.

"Kotetsu-san?" she asked. Izumo winced.

"Still in surgery. Last I heard, they were praying there was enough of his mid-leg left to graft replacement knees to."

Sakura shuddered.

 _Don't blink now,_ something deeper than any aspect told her. _Don't look away. You are a nin, and heir of your clan._

"Baa-san," Sakura said, "what aid can we give two of Konoha's most valiant?"  
  


"Ah, Sakura-chan--" Izumo began.

"Izumo-nii," she broke in sharply, "some of my earliest and fondest memories are of you and Kotetsu as fresh chuunin waving goodbye to us as my parents took my brother and I with them on business. If the Haruno can help you two lugs, we're going to. Like it or not."

"Indeed," Airi agreed. "Try and stop us."

Izumo's blush was almost enough, but he murmured a quiet "Thank you," any way.

##

**1505 h. Yachi Chashitsu.**

On the pronouncement that Uzumaki Sachiko was dead, Uzuki Yuugao sunk to her knees. Hayate, her lover, crouched beside her.

The Seals had dispersed into the crowd. Chiaki had given up the pretext of guarding and was mourning with the clan he was sworn to. He'd stopped apologising and was now cursing his cousin. Rick-san had produced a long, deadly looking spear and taken the Tani's place without a word.

Taking in his unflappable Red Cat-nee crying, Naruto knew his teeth were gritted. "Who else, Ami-nee?"

Ami wordlessly handed him the sheet of paper she had read from. Naruto poured over it, his jaw tightening.

 _After a crisis, I always make sure I know who is alive and who needs support before I see to the dead._ The Major had said that once.

"Where is Sachiko's adopted daughter?" he asked.

"Hospital," Ami said simply.

"With...?" he prompted, and at the puzzled looks he got in return he frowned. "She is an Uzumaki! Why is she sitting alone in a hospital bed?"

"I'll go," one of his cousins said, a man with hair a dirtier blond than his but eyes that matched his, what had Ai-nee once called it? Ethereal blue.

"Duck-nii?" Naruto prompted, matching face and voice to a mask. Another cousin, doing his best to help.

"Yuurei," the man corrected with a smirk. "I... helped Sachiko clear the adoption. A character reference, that sort of thing. Kazuki knows me."

"Yuurei-nii. Stay with her. We need to figure out where she's going after this, too, but that's later," he mused aloud. "Go. Let her know... she's part of us, and we're with her. We take care of our own."

Yuurei nodded and left with all speed.

He turned to where Yuugao was surrounded by other clan and kin, and sighed. "They were close?"

"Basically sisters," Ami affirmed. "Even more so after Sachiko's parents died."

"Rot it. Bastard keeps taking from us," Naruto growled, and moved forward, pushing through the crowd.

 _I often remind myself, when I am thinking a member of my court is not themselves... it is often that a mask has fallen, and I am either seeing a new side or a new mask._ Who had said that-- Artie-ba. Queen Arthuria.

Hayate seemed to be doing good on the hugging, so Naruto just reached out to take Yuugao's hand. The lilac-haired woman met his eyes, and then caught him up in her arms. "She... so wanted to meet you properly. When... Sarutobi-sama said you entered the nin program, she helped furnish your apartment..."

Naruto closed his eyes, wincing. He hugged his usually so composed and direct nee-san right back.

 _Remind them who they are, and who you want them to be,_ he heard Vivi-nee's voice. _If they are loyal, and true, they will strive to equal your words. The ones that don't, watch._

"When... we go into battle," Naruto said, managing words from a history book he'd always wanted to say aloud with pride as a member of his clan, "even as friends betray, even as darkness dogs us, every Uzumaki says, whether in our hearts or to our enemy... 'I may fall...'"

"'...but not like this,'" Yuugao continued, and there was now fire under the tears.

"'It won't be by your hand,'" they finished together, and Naruto's heart swelled as he heard others nearby join in.

"And we are only wrong once," Naruto finished, and then looked at his clansmen around him. This time, parents had brought their children. "We may fall, we Uzumaki. But not like this. It won't be by the hand of this... Sarubo, who tossed away everything a Tani should be for a bit of power. It won't be by the hand of this Gatou, who even now our Hokage is moving to swat like the bug he is. It won't be because of academy teachers who think a single scroll will give them power. It won't be because of scoffing idiots on Konoha streets who forget what the village _means_. We may one day fall..."

"But not like this," his patchwork quilt of a clan said back, parents prompting children, ANBU with masks at their side, KeiBu with hands over their leaf-shaped badges with the Uchiha's symbol and the department's glyph on it. Genin, Chuunin, and Jounin fingering the metal leaf symbol they all wore. "Not by their hands."

"We will stand with you, Uzumaki-sama."

Naruto turned to the voice.

Jii-jii actually stood behind the newcomers. Ones he recognized from pictures Genta had shown him earlier in the day. Shorter girl, shorter cut black hair, with a simple pack on her back. Cute, as Naruto had noted. Three years older than him.

"Fuinken Tsuchi. Hanaori Kotoha," she said, dropping her pack as she dropped to one knee. "I'll do my best for you, Uzumaki-dono."

If he hadn't known she was from Nami, he would have wondered why she was using such an old style honourific. Crap, Jii-jii and his teammates didn't use that, and they were old enough to have known the Shodai and Nidaime. The dono was what you dragged out to introduce the Hidaimyo or Hokage before they gave a formal address, or ran a ceremony.

He smiled at the young woman. "Kotoha-chan. Will you do us the honour of playing your flute at my cousin's funeral?"

The young woman looked up at him, surprise and bittersweet pleasure in her eyes. "Of course, Uzumaki-dono."

He caught her blush as the man kneeling beside her to the left sneaked a small smile at her. The dark haired man then turned to Naruto, and Naruto felt a strange feeling of recognition he'd felt maybe once or twice in his life before-- when? Once when first meeting Hakumei, certainly.

"Fuinken Kaminari. Shiba no Shinichi Takeru," the man announced himself.

"Ah. Excuse me for indulging in clan tradition, then," Naruto said.

"Tradition...?" Takeru had time to ask.

Naruto did not jump at him, but did take the man up in a firm hug. "Welcome home, cousin. Sorry it was now."

Slowly, the Shinichi hugged him back. "Our great-grandfather."

"Still family," Naruto said firmly.

For a moment when he backed up, Naruto saw the man's brown eyes glint ever so slightly-- and then with a cough and clearing of his throat, his initial stoic bearing was back. "My foster sister--"

In an eye blink, the woman kneeling to his left had a closed paper fan in her hand and was using it to deliver a dopeslap worthy of the Yamanaka.

"Takeru!" she rebuked him firmly, like when Hinata's little sister was letting the firecracker show under the Hyuuga training. "Leave out the foster!"

Takeru manfully restrained himself to a grunt of pain. "Of course, little sister."

With a nod, the woman turned to Naruto with a smile that reminded him of some of the older Hyuuga women, kind and composed. "Fuinken Hi. Shiba Kaoru." She nodded her head slightly.

"... so, do I just welcome you, or thank you for your loyalty, or-- I didn't get told no formal words to be telling the retainers I'm sorry don't get mad I'll cry and I'm close to that anyway!"

Swiftly, Kaoru stood and wrapped her arms around him. "No ceremony now, my lord," the Seal said, sighing. "No pomp, no circumstance. Just let us be here for you. There's a token we'll present to you later."

Sniffing and wiping his eyes, Naruto nodded. "Thank you, Kaoru. And save the 'Lord' stuff for the public. I'm just Naruto." He snorted. "Naruto just happens to be head of the Uzumaki... but..."

Kaoru gave a gentle laugh. "I understand, Naruto. Now, I believe Jii-sama wishes to speak with you."

Naruto turned to the Hokage, who nodded once and gestured for Naruto to follow.


	2. Chapter 2

_Like I said in my introduction, these lessons I learned on my way to being Kage of my village are listed in order learned, not in order of importance._

_If they were in order of how important, this eighth one would be near the top.  
_ \-- Moving Villages and Other Minor Things I have Done, Uzumaki Naruto, memoirs, second volume.

**1538 h. Team Anko Training Yard.**

Sarutobi Hiruzen would not live to see Naruto finish his memoirs, or at least not the volume that would cite the fourth day of Mi in 3048 during his second reign as "the eighth great lesson I would have in being Kage". He would know that Naruto would cite that day as such a lesson, and would take to smiling and thanking him when the young man said such in his company.

Inside, he was rejoicing. Because if there was one lesson...

"Naruto," he said, waving the boy to sit beside him on the bench at the edge of the training yard proper, "how long have you been saying you'll take my hat?"

The Uzumaki blinked at his surrogate grandfather. "Geez, Jii-jii. Almost as long as I can remember. Er, three, four years old? Nine or ten years, I guess."

"I've known you would be since you were eight."

Naruto blinked again, then bowed his head. "The orphanage."

"If I am still alive and capable when you turn eighteen, you will be my successor," Hiruzen said firmly. "And I have regents ready to hold the post until that day, should I fall."

Naruto's eyes went wide. "J-jii-jii? That's just... five... well, four years from... really?"

"I was barely older than you when Sensei told us that he saw me as Kage and Danzou as my Red Right Hand."

Naruto chuckled. "That saying is originally Keltic, isn't it?"

"Ah, well, Arthuria's grandfather Arthur had just visited. But that is another matter. Naruto... I want to tell you something I once heard the Nidaime advise Danzou, and something the Nidaime advised his brother when the Shodai reigned."

The boy-- no, the young nin beside him looked up reverently.

"First... shortly after his father died a hero of the village, Danzou was in combat and thought he had failed because he did not reach an ally in time to die in their place. Well, Sensei heard him crying his disgrace to me, and do you know what Tobirama-sensei did?"

"No, Jii-jii."

"He smacked him upside of the head."

Naruto's head jerked back, and he looked over Hiruzen's shoulder. Hiruzen looked and saw a nearby Ikenami Ryuunosuke shared Naruto's disbelief. Ryuunosuke's student, whose name Hiruzen vowed to practice saying, was chuckling.

"Well, this _is_ back when we were barely genin," Hiruzen allowed.

"It is... still hard to picture, Hokage-sama," Ikenami managed.

Richard chuckled once more. "Perhaps culture makes it easier for me," the Fioren reflected with a ready grin. "Apologies, Hokage-sama."

"I expect you'll all like this next bit. Sensei didn't stop there. I don't know how they can say he was the more composed of the Senju Hokage, I learned half a dozen new swears as he gave Danzou a sound beating. In Higo, Throalic, the High Speech, and even the tongue of Kells' far north, Vinland."

Hiruzen would allow his ANBU joining Naruto and his guards in chuckling.

"When he was done," the old Kage said, growing serious, "he grabbed Danzou by the shoulders, shook him and said, 'you say anything that idiotic again, I'll name you ANBU Baka! Noble as it is to die for her, it is much, much harder to _live_ for Konoha!" Hiruzen shook his head. "Mito-o-ba-san was silent the entire time she was patching him up, but she had that look on her face..."

"Because it's harder to live with what we do for Konoha then to pass on to the Pure World," Naruto said, and Hiruzen caught his eye and nodded.

"You understood far sooner than either of us. But the other thing... Not many people realize the seal that marks the Branch Hyuuga is younger that Konoha."

Naruto frowned. "Created by... Hyuuga Houzuki? Yeah, yeah, the clan head who came after Hitomi-- she joined the Hyuuga to Konoha. He took a seal the Uzumaki used as a temporary measure to punish prisoners... and modified it."

"That puts it lightly," Hiruzen drawled.

"I occasionally try diplomacy, Jii-jii," Naruto shot back.

"Sometimes none is required.” Hiruzen gave him a smile, then composed himself. "When the Shodai Hokage found out what Hyuuga Houzuki had done with the seal the Wellspring had shown him, he wanted to rage. He wanted to tear up the contracts that Houzuki had exploited to create his horrible house system and tear down the Hyuuga Gates and feed Houzuki his own spleen. But his brother-- Sensei-- stopped him."

"... why?" Naruto said, frowning. "I mean, the Caged Bird Seal is bullshite, Jii-jii--"

"Yes. And Tobirama-sensei agreed with that. But Konoha was even then not like the other villages. Hashirama-sama had tried as best he could to rule with a light touch, to let the clan bring their strength and form Konoha with that... and he was so close to just forcing his way to rid the village of this mockery. But Tobirama-sensei counseled him the same thing I am about to council you.

"'[A Hokage must never give into rage](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5945419/1/A-Month-as-Naruto-Uzumaki),' Sensei advised his brother.

"'But, should your anger be too much to contain, so that your sight remains clear, you must make sure that your rage be three things:

"'Your rage must be cold.

"'Your rage must be reasoned.

"'And your rage must be legendary.'"

"... so... what did the Shodai do...?" Naruto asked eagerly. Always one for village history.

"He sat, and he thought, and he did the same thing his brother later did when his beloved sister in law related that she'd simply like to tell people about her status herself.

"He passed a single law."

Naruto blinked, bowed his head and thought. Then he shook his head. "I... don't see how one law..."

"Naruto... how often do your history books relate a death by way of the Caged Bird Cursed Seal caused by a head of the Hyuuga activating that seal?"

"... I can think of three," Naruto said, brow furrowed. "In fact, all three were at Houzuki's hands..."

"There are four. Houzuki's granddaughter activated it on her own sister shortly after branding her. Your books will say the same thing happened to that _cunt_ that happened to Houzuki."

"Wait... history says... he was executed for crimes against the Village--" Naruto snapped around to look at Hiruzen. "The Shodai made it illegal to use the death part of the Caged Bird?"

"No," Hiruzen corrected. "He made it a capital crime for _any_ clan to punish its members to the point of death or until they are no longer able to care for themselves without aid without sanction of their commanders and the law. As determined by an inin panel and the courts. Even then, we understood that while laws can be abused and misused... they are better that the alternative."

"... that's brilliant! It didn't single out the Hyuuga, and no one got to be an arsehole!"

Hiruzen grinned. "I remember, the head of the Uchiha after Madara left, Anego-- brilliant lady-- loved it. Led the KeiBu welfare checks, except on her own clan. She let the Akimichi head of the day handle that. He became the one to lay out the standard ops for our oinin, you may remember. But Anego-- some Uchiha thought nothing of marking one of their children a spare and punishing them almost to death. The law stopped that, and to this day it is one of the most important laws on Konoha's books... especially after people realized the law did not distinguish between clan heads and the other members."

"... Neji-nii-dick's still right to hate the damn thing," Naruto muttered, even as he gave a bitter smile.

"Oh, yes," Hiruzen allowed. "Having a knife at your throat, even ten centimetres from it with the holders’ arms chained to go no closer-- that's no way to live. But until the day someone can disarm him without killing you..." Hiruzen gave Naruto a gentle knudge. "Every clan head that's come under my watch, I've told this to. About rage. It's good advice to them as well. Anger can be a good guide, and a friend, but you must direct it."

He paused as a KeiBu landed in the yard. Icebear and Gemma intercepted the officer, and waved Ryuunosuke over. They examined the missive in the woman's hands. Gemma's senbon snapped, and he spat the tip he'd had in his mouth out. Young fool was lucky it didn't hurt him. Icebear-- at the moment one of his younger ANBU-- gasped and took a moment to master herself. The Seal roared out his rage, even as his student tried to calm him, and then returned in the KeiBu's wake to Naruto's side. The Ikenami looked ready to kill, and the KeiBu look like he was back from a fresh tour of a warzone.

"Hokage-sama," the officer began. "We've found... something under Tani Sarubo's home."

**###**

**1552 h. Dining Room Table, Team Anko HQ.**

Sasuke knew his face was a hard mask.

"I was coming to give you good news," he said, shaking his head as he kneeled down with his sensei and team. It was as much at how flat his own voice had gotten as the situation.

"And the Tani thing gets worse," Naruto said, forcing his voice even.

"He killed eight of ours. What did he do that's worse?" Sakura said, eyes narrowed.

"Haruno-chan--" Hyuuga Kazushi began.

"Show her," Anko barked.

"Anko-chan--" Kazushi began again.

"For fucking Log's sake, Baa-chan's the Medical Examiner. I have other clan in KeiBu. Baa-chan and I spend half our time when watching crime dramas noting how much _worse_ real crime scenes are," Sakura growled, pulling out her reading glasses.

Kazushi bowed his head. "Forgive a father the desire to protect all children."

"Look at my forehead. Nin." Sakura took the offered file. Her frown deepened as she read, and she began to pass sheets to Sasuke as she finished. "Let Naruto and Sensei see too," she said.

It was halfway through his fifth sheet that Naruto set the papers down. "Trying too hard, Sarubo-arse."

Anko shook her head. "Give us too much of what we want and we get sick on it."

Sakura smirked. "You noticed too?"

Sasuke inclined his head thoughtfully, then gave a bitter little smile of his own. "You said that a lot when we got caught on a bluff during one of your pranks, Hammer."

Sakura thought, and slowly nodded. "Lying is so much easier in real life than movies and stories would have you think. You're only in trouble..."

"... when you try too hard," Naruto agreed.

The KeiBu Keisatsu-chou Choukan slowly joined them kneeling beside the table. "I... suspected something at that stage as well. The medical supplies, the operating tables and gurneys..."

"'The set dressing does not match the action on stage,'" Naruto said. "Ryuzaburo-jii-- Ryuunosuke's dad-- said that once when I noted another performer's act felt off."

"I remember that-- it was the day you introduced me to them. We were seven," Sasuke said absently, looking through the papers.

"He's trying to make us think Orochimaru," Sakura said. "But Naruto and I are history buffs. Horrible as his acts were, sloppy as his methodology was-- the Sick Snake was _experimenting_. He was tracking cause and effect, testing hypothesis..."

Anko gave a bitter laugh. "Sensei isn't a sane scientist, but he was trying to do _science_. I'll give him that."

"This..." Sakura said as she stabbed the report, "is closer to a serial killer going through his stages. And even that..."

"Something off there as well, Haruno-san?" the KeiBu Chief prompted.

Sakura looked at the pages, snatching them back from her team, laying them out before her.

"We call the stages a serial killer goes through his or her ritual," Sakura said absently.

"I've heard the term," Sasuke noted. "... Kaa-san once told Itachi she didn't like it."

Sakura raised an eyebrow at the blunt use of his brother's name, but stayed on topic. "That's because 'Ritual' implies more order than the serial usually shows."

"How so, Sakura?" Naruto asked with a frown.

The Haruno frowned. "My brother once described serial killers as being under a life long genjutsu that made their reality have slightly different base principles than the rest of us."

Kazushi slowly nodded. "I remember the seminar everyone that makes the detective ranks gets. Whether there's signs of them being that way from the earliest point you can say they're forming their own life story or it happens after some trauma..."

"... their mind frames things differently than the rest of us... oh, so it's not like they get a set of 'killing instructions' wired into them," Naruto realized.

"Exactly," Anko agreed. "They're seeing the same world as me or you. They see it change... and they can change their tune to meet it."

"But they have that same... need to be them, what did your punny buddy call it...?" Sasuke wondered.

"Self-sequential bias," Naruto reminded him, then turned to Sakura to explain. "Boar-- of the Pottery, remember? He once told me it's a big reason change can take so long. We have to feel like our actions fit what we've done before, who we tell ourselves we are. Come to think, his brother likely told him that."

Sakura nodded. "And that's true even when your head is full of busted wiring. The consistency shows in how the killer will repeat certain actions, kill in a similar way, deface and abuse their victim's body in similar ways-- but the details will slowly change over time. Even with a grand plan to their mania."

"... and a ritual is something we try and do exactly the same no matter what," Naruto reasoned, and at Sakura's encouraging nod, he pressed on. "You're saying he's doing things the same too much?"

"You said it yourself, Uzumaki-san," Kazushi said, the Hyuuga frowning thoughtfully. "What makes a ritual a ritual is the fact you do your best to repeat it exactly. It's why we write down our laws and most sacred observances-- so we can keep to them better."

Sakura removed her glasses and rubbed at her eyes. "A serial, enacting their sickness, varies because of human nature-- the insanity is in what their habits end up being."

"Sarubo was either trying to make us think he's a serial when his killings had other motives or..." Sasuke shook his head, not so much in negation as if trying to puzzle something out.

"What is it, Broody?" Anko prompted.

"Looking at this now, after all I've just heard," the Uchiha said, meeting his friend's eyes, "this is more like Sarubo was enacting some sort weird religious rite."

Naruto's eyes went wide. "We need Jii-jii. And Kebukai-nii. And whoever of the Seals is good with spooky shite! And Ai-nee-chan! Now!"

"Uzumaki-san--!" Kazushi began.

"Now!" Naruto repeated, and the Uzumaki-- well, he had that look that said only a fool would not listen.

Sasuke had learned to trust that look.

"Do it," he affirmed coolly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sarutobi's lesson to Naruto is actually from "A Month as Naruto Uzumaki" from Angel of Snapdragons, and the start of the quoted text links to such. The line that frames it as guidelines to act clear headed in that anger was suggested by beta Ed Becerra. My thanks to both, and please do read Angel's fic.


	3. Chapter 3

_Understanding what Sarubo had become opened the door to understanding what Uzumaki was, what Kurama was-- and that was like throwing Konoha's politics into a blender.  
_ _\-- Captain Richard Simmons, article "Elemental Politics Leading to the Great Migration", Spheri-Pol, The End Press._

**1610 h. Somewhere in Hi.**

Sarubo stumbled slightly. He had dropped from the trees a good thirty-one kilometers from Konoha, which still put him inside Hi's border but at least put him outside regular patrol routes. Despite his moniker and his patron, he did have his limits and he needed a rest.

Damn that brat Naruto. Damn the other Uzumaki for suddenly caring. Things had just been getting... _interesting_ in Nami when it happened, though Nami had been a secondary goal, a small amusement to pass the time.

"Well, well, Tani-sama. You're rather far from Konoha."

##

**Team Anko Dining room.**

The door slid open. "Uzumaki-dono," Kotoha said quietly, "Maito Gai is here with a man who wishes to offer his help. His godson."

Naruto looked to the two elderly men at the table. Jii-jii nodded once and Yami-jii looked intrigued.

"Bring them in."

Kotoha bowed, turned, and returned a moment later with Gai-sensei and--

_Second time today,_ Naruto mused, as he looked at the man beside Gai-sensei and felt a tingle of deep recognition.

"My godson, Blake August," Gai introduced the auburn haired man with him as that man lowered the hood of his shirt. The sensei of Team Punishment was unnaturally subdued.

Naruto returned the newcomer's bow, never breaking eye contact. Then he reached out his hand, clasping the man's wrist. "Uzumaki Naruto."

"Gus is fine," the man said, returning the clasp. His accent only just told that Throalic or another of the languages from Barsaive's central region was his native tongue. He had maybe ten years, twelve on Naruto.

"Naruto," Naruto said, then gestured for Gai and Gus to sit. They settled kneeling with the rest on pillows produced by the servants brought by Takeru and Karou. They were dressed as kabuki stage hands. Naruto vaguely remembered Chiaki or someone noting the tradition. "How's Lee holding up?"

Gai sighed. It was taking all the taijutsu master had not to be a bawling wreck-- occasionally a wince of strain would emerge. "Tai was one of his favourite relatives, and among his favourite sparring partners. He is... with his parents."

Naruto nodded, then gestured to the three samurai nearby. "At the side table there is my cousin, Takeru. That's Ryuunosuke and Genta. They're part of a group with ties to my clan, and one of their duties is dealing with Gedoushuu. My cousin Kebukai is over there with his dog. He's expert on such things as well, and is actually thinking deeply on the matter and not just lazing about."

"Blake-san," Takeru greeted, bowing on behalf of his preoccupied fellows. Genta gave a glance and nod. Ryuunosuke was too focused on the papers they were pouring over to look up. Kebukai gave a seemingly lazy nod. Baraki just cast a glance at the newcomer, and then the hound sat up and panted, alert but relaxed.

"Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Hokage and the closest thing I have to a grandfather," Naruto continued, indicating the elderly Kage who was accepting a cup of tea from Anko. "His advisor, Shimura Danzou."

"Your reputations echo even in my homelands," August said, bowing deeply. "It is an honour, though I wish the circumstances had been as I originally planned. Peaceful."

"I may have met your father once..." Naruto's Jii-jii offered, his tone a bit cautious.

"If it was a Theran asshole sharing my first name and hedging on giving a family name-- the only thing he gave my sister and myself was a bit of genetic material," August replied with not a little acid. "If it was a Yeelen named Lukaz, than I hope he was his usual charming self."

The Hokage and his Yami looked at each other and smirked. "Charming..." Danzou mused. "I suppose your stepfather's bluntness could be read as charm, especially in contrast to that family-less Theran. Please, this is Kimura Ai."

"The Toughest Love," August said, with another bow.

"I am ashamed to say, Blake-san, the man you fought today was once my teammate."

"His actions are his own. Do not give him that satisfaction," the Blake offered. He turned as Anko settled in beside her other students.

"My sensei, Mitarashi Anko," Naruto said, "the Bastard-by-Choice, Uchiha Sasuke--"

"Oh, now I get it," Sakura muttered.

"-- and the Bitch Scholar, Sakura," Naruto finished.

"And the young man in the servant passageway off this room is supposed to be here, yes?" August asked.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "That's Sai. Danzou-jii appointed him my bodyguard. He's a bit melodramatic."

"Yes, you are," Danzou said, without turning. "And don't give me that look, young man."

There was a barely audible sigh.

"And the man I fought fleeing this village was Tani Sarubo," Gus noted. "The Endless Assault, known for his endurance and composure under pressure."

"He hid his true nature well," Hiruzen reflected bitterly. "At first, we thought him merely opportunistically linked to a crimelord trying to gain absolute control over Nami."

"He staged a scene at his home that was meant to implicate either a sick serial killer or someone in league with one of our Nukenin," Danzou said. "A monster who experimented on his fellow citizens."

"Orochimaru," Gus noted. "I've heard of him."

"One of my best friends overcompensates a lot... because his tou-san joined him..." Naruto said sadly.

##

**Outside Konoha.**

Sarubo slowly turned and smirked. "I think about now my clan is claiming I have about as much right to that name as you have to call yourself an Inuzuka, Kurashi. Your son is still trying oh so hard to be anything but the bastard that betrayed the clan head."

"Kids," Kurashi said with a sigh, patting the red-eyed wolf beside him. "So what brings you this far out?"

"Bit of fun I was having in Nami was exposed. Given I was using Uzumaki money to do it... I'm not surprised at the... strong reaction."

One of the little bits of Nin with Kurashi slinked up to him. "Shall we take him to Orochimaru-sama, Tachio? There seems to be something... interesting in his chakra system."

Sarubo looked at the woman trying to imitate her master's creepy seduction and then back at Kurashi. He raised one eyebrow.

"Echigoya, back off," Kurashi said firmly. "Sarubo-sama is off limits."

##

**Dining Room.**

"But it was a bad stage show, as Naruto put it," Sasuke said.

"And even if it wasn't," Gus said, bowing his head, "... we have encountered and dealt with some of your student's minions, Hokage-sama. They took an interest in my wife and daughter. Faunus, if you know the term," he explained.

"I... regularly correspond with a member of the Keltic court," Naruto said.

"... oh, blooddamn your meaningful elemental puns," Gus said, wincing. "Does she mistranslate your given name as _fishcakes_?"

Naruto just managed a chuckle.

"My wife is Sir Bedivere's foster," Gus said.

"Akartu. Natsumikun liked sparing with her," Naruto said, smirking.

" _Summer Mandarin_ ," August translated, and shook his head. "Close, I suppose. So you understand, such... signs of _magic's_ influence stand out like an ork of Barsaive would at Sphere's End. My point is-- that cursed seal of his is pure human work, and everything I know points toward that hateful Snake clinging to his human life too much to either want a Horror's patronage or sink to becoming one himself. Which discounts your new Nukenin as one of Orochimaru's collaborators in a vital way."

"That being?" the Hokage prompted.

"He's _Marked_ ," the Blake answered flatly. "I felt it. And it was such a part of him... it was a willing mark."

##

"Aw," the woman pouted, drawing closer to Sarubo, "c'mon, Black Paw. Why not--"

The three blades that suddenly sprouted from her chest were a very good argument, Sarubo thought.

##

"In our terms, Ayakashi," Ryounosuke murmured. "It is obvious in retrospect when he fell."

Gus raised an eyebrow.

"Ai-nee?" Naruto prompted.

"He stopped sharing his poetry with me ten years ago," Ai related with a sigh.

Gus gave Ai an understanding nod. "We get that back in the Republic too, now that the Horrors aren't so in our faces. Seeing signs in retrospect. But to this day, every citizen of Barsaive is instructed to find their art. The _Horror's Mark_ \-- the Ayakashi no Oten-- prevents one from creating new things in a human context. They even have trouble repeating what is already made... without warping it into a mockery."

"He knew it would show," Takeru said gravely.

"He was a great poet," Gai said, sadly. "I... am not sure I would want to see a mockery of his skills."

With a sigh, Kebukai straightened up slightly against the wall he was leaning on and shook his head. "The thing is... Naruto, Ryuunosuke and I have talked it over. And, like, the horror he's most likely serving... our clan dealt with. Kinda... decisively, y'know?"

August's eyes narrowed. "I've heard of many an Ayakashi and Gedoushu dealt with at the hands of Uzumaki fuinjutsu, even destroyed-- and that's even after the fall of your village."

##

"Hidan," Kurashi said with a sigh. "Mind if we take the body? Or even leaving one?"

The Jashinist smirked. "This isn't a ritual, my dear boy, this is just making a point to the rest of your children. Children, when Kurashi-jii-sama says hands off like that, he's saying they belong to someone else."

Echigoya made a rather nice gurgling sound. Sarubo had to hold back a giggle. Hidan gave him a glance out of the corner of his eye, an older brother's mild chiding-- _oh, Sarubo, what am I going to do with you?_

"And I stick to that," Kurashi said. "Thank you for making your point so succinctly."

"I gave our lord a nice little slaughter in one of the border villages that used to be under Yugakure's protection. That was a litany-- this is a haiku. Our master appreciates both, in their place."

##

Kebukai met the Hunter's eyes. "Have you heard of Jashin?"

August's eyes went wide. "Of course I- As I said, my wife is Keltic. Vinelander, but raised in the capital... dear lord, that one tried to make inroads on Keltic soil under guise of making weapons for the crown."

"I know. I'm a history buff," Naruto explained. "Natsumikun and I swap stories. She told me how followers of Jashin tried to hide one of their rituals as a means to bless future warriors for Kells. There was one survivor of Sarubo's... acts. The little girl given birth by one of his victims."

Gus shut his eyes. "'Born as the Black Swordsman, bathed in the blood of slaughter...' That was the text they found in the cultists' 'special sanctum' after King Uther decided the number of deaths around the 'miracle working' site was a touch too suspicious."

"She had a mark on her right shoulder," Danzou said quietly.

"The blade of a sword. A Claymore," Gus said, eyes full of rage. "How far along was his? Most of the Keltic Claymores lived full lives- hard lives, but fruitful. Some of the later victims had a harder time of it--"

"Her chakra coils have been-- forcefully engorged," Hiruzen related. "Other than that... my inin found nothing."

Gus gave a sigh of relief. "She'll have a tough time learning control, but if he had no chance to add the _ichor_ \-- the essence of a Gedoushu... she's avoided the worst of it."

##

"Oh, really?" Hidan reflected sorrowfully. "And you seemed to be doing so well, especially for having to do it alone.

"Even got a little Keltic girl," Sarubo sighed. "Really authentic."

Hidan shrugged congenially, smirking. ”Ah, well. It, and Nami, were side projects. And the fallout should take the wind out of that weak little village of theirs. But come now, details!”

##

"I know the monks that guard the Mask Shrine well, Naruto," Takeru said. "I will send them a message, have them check the mask Jashin is said to be bound in is secure."

"Even if the _Horror_ is itself sealed," Gus said warily, "a strong enough Ayakashi can spread its Oten. It's how one can gain a foothold in this world even when an easy path from its home realm is unavailable."

"Jashin has a... _priest_ , then?" Hiruzen prompted.

"For lack of a better term," Gus affirmed with a shrug.

There was a ghost of a noise as a panel on the wall opened. "Forgive me, Danzou-sama, but I have been given a message for Hokage-sama."

Danzou raised an eyebrow. "Go ahead, Squid."

"News of the survivor of Sarubo's depravities has been leaked."

The Hokage rose, his face hard. "I assume there is a crowd forming at the hospital...?"

"Two main ones. One calling for the child to be turned over for mob justice, the other naively bleating to await the word of their Kage. Mostly rubber-neckers. A few voices of reason and a line of KeiBu and ANBU keeping them out of the hospital."

Naruto was _over_ the table in a blink, and the Hokage was reaching after him even as his teammates and retainers fell in beside him. "Naruto--"

"No! Jii-jii, they did it to me already! They don't get to try to make another burakumin in Konoha!"

##

"He is still an outcast, as we planned," Sarubo affirmed, idly caressing the skin of the dying woman they sat by. "Even if his clan does rally..."

"It would take a Sage, a _Sent_ , a true _Hero_ to remain in love with that place in that case," Hidan agreed. "All should go as planned. Eye on the prize, Sabo-kun. The point of you staying in Konoha was never to start that trouble in Nami or make a Claymore."

Sarubo gave his patron's main priest a grin. "Indeed. They will still pay."

Hidan nodded. "Our Sage of Death Kushina _was_ killed before we could initiate her into his ways. Her son... may suffice..."


	4. Chapter 4

_Uzumaki take adoption very seriously.  
_ \-- Uzumaki Watari, Quoted in Beacon Alumni News

**1655 h. Konoha Hospital.**

The man at the head of the "kill the demon girl" crowd and the woman pleading for all and sundry to wait for the Hokage's word both seemed rather shocked to have dour samurai pressing a weapon to their throats.

"Ut-ut," Genta said as the man made to protest. "A jitte can still crush or strangle."

The woman seemed to take Takeru's katana more seriously.

And then a voice sounded out.

"People of Konoha. If you'll excuse me, I'd like to visit my cousins in there."

Sakura found herself stunned. This was not Naruto the prankster, or Naruto the thoughtful teammate, or Naruto the Unintentional Diplomatic Genius who addressed heads of state and leaders of armies as he would academy classmates.

Standing beside the Hokage with the Konoha Shirei-kan flanking them and his team close behind, the Fuin helping the KeiBu and ANBU control the crowd --this was Uzumaki Naruto, son of Minato and Kushina. Head of the Uzumaki, and future Kage.

For the first time, she _knew_ he'd hold that title.

The man scowled. "Oh, would they include the new demon brat?"

Naruto looked at Genta and nodded. Genta released the man.

"She isn't a jinchuuriki like myself," Naruto said bluntly. "To be one of those, you need to have-- does it have to be a tailed beast, Jii-jii?"

"No, Naruto," the Hokage said. "Simply an entity that would be more dangerous free, than bound to a human partner."

"Ah. In that case of that little baby in there that an... eighth or so?... of you are calling for the death of, she's just had chakra coils much larger than a typical little one her age forced on her by the traitor that killed eight of our own today. In other words, rather like a typical Uzumaki."

"Hah!" the man pressed on, grinning. "You can't fool us, demon! I know what she is!"

"Oh?" Naruto prompted innocently.

"She's a Claymore! A warrior infused with demonic essence!" the man roared, pointing a finger at Naruto.

Naruto smiled, and Sakura felt a chill.

"I wonder where you heard that term," Naruto said, his voice-- there was Naruto joking and Naruto being affably devious. And Sakura knew right now he was not joking, and not the least bit affable. This trap was a killer. "It's a Keltic term. It applies to a very narrow class of victims of a Jashinist cult, doesn't it Blaku-san?"

"Why yes," Blake August said, sliding up beside Naruto and joining him in staring at the rapidly paling man. "Some of whom are beloved heroes of Kells today. It's funny, Uzumaki-san, _I_ know that very _Keltic_ word because my wife is Keltic and we lived there for five years..."

"Yes. And _I_ know it because I'm a history buff who trades mails with _Lady Summer Rose_. You've heard of her? The High Queen's niece?"

"Dear friend of ours actually. Like a little sister to my darling wife."

"Indeed. So _how_ does a citizen of Konoha with neither my stunning taste in penpals nor your breadth of travel know it?"

Oh, crap, Naruto was even switching to Higo's more formal dialect. A very bad sign. Sakura took a glance at Sasuke and read deep worry in her subtle teammate's slightly creased brow.

"Good question," Blake admitted, and the two focused on the man.

"I-- I heard-- that is--"

Something about Naruto and Gus's direct stare made the man lose his nerve.

"Oh, and while I acknowledged being a jinchuuriki first and thus _you_ shouldn't be put to insta-death for calling me demon, the word has connotations that don't really apply to me or the tailed beast in me. _That_ offends me and the other two loyal Konoha nin that have served in my place." Naruto's face flashed unguarded anger and the man stumbled back. "Arsehole."

If people had winced when Naruto used the insulting _onore_ form of 'you' in addressing the loudmouth, they were backing away from the unfortunate and pulling every other 'distancing' sign in the Hi/ Konoha playbook when Naruto showed his anger.

And an angry Naruto was different than a mad one. Mad, Naruto would rant, rave, prank, and sulk. Now angered and bordering on rage, her teammate was handing the rumourmonger just enough rope to hang himself with.

"Er, I-- that is, Uzumaki-kun..."

And was ready to spring open the trap under the poor sap at exactly the right moment.

"Jii-jii?" Naruto prompted lightly.

"Not death. Yet. Eiji, Ibiki--" the Hokage began, then he shook his head. "Not that patient. Inoichi! Are you around?"

The Yamanaka head emerged from the crowd. "I'll walk his mind and whoevers' minds it leads me to until I find the leak."

"One would guess you started with my mind," the Hokage said flatly. "As you should." It was the Hokage, now. Sakura could see none of the Professor or Naruto's Jii-jii. "Leave him intact enough for Homura to prosecute, would you?"

"Hokage-sama...?" the man managed.

Sarutobi Hiruzen turned a level gaze upon the loud mouth. "I am not a patient man by nature," the Hokage said. "I have to work at it. And right now, I'm too tired for this shite. I've put up with it too long. You just became the last push that toppled my patience."

The man blinked, confused, as KeiBu formed around him.

"As for you," Naruto said coolly, passing the woman that had opposed the man who knew too much about Claymores as Takeru lowered his katana, "why the fuck should we need Jii-jii's word to have some basic human decency?"

"My cousin has a point," Takeru said bluntly before following in Naruto's wake

The woman blinked after him... and her face fell.

"Plank-straight," Sakura said, following her teammate.

"Naruto," Danzou said, and damn her parents' boss could ghost up to someone when he wanted to! "A number of people pushed for you to be put in my care to be forged as a weapon when you were born--"

"That would work, if the _wee one_ didn't have family here."

Danzou shot Sakura's teammate that wary look when he wanted to know what someone was pulling but didn't want his attention to stop them from pulling it.

"Let me visit Sachiko's daughter," Naruto said, "and we'll settle the matter."

##

He'd come in with Takeru, the other Seals and Konoha's command staff spread around the floor to 'set the right tone' as Ryuunosuke put it. The Hokage was rather pointedly helping his hospital head glare at those objecting to talking to Yamanaka clan members.

Naruto's teammates attended to other things.

The lead investigator at Sarubo's house had been a friend of Sasuke's mother-- Roku-something Mina. Sasuke was getting the _straight dope_ (Hay's term) on the scene from her and sharing his team's thoughts under the Chief's supervision.

Nee-sensei was with Ino's dad, helping him get the loudmouth who knew too much about Claymores in the right mindset. Naruto rather hoped Kageko and her fellows were involved. Or maybe some careful force on joints. Then again, maybe Scarshead-nii still had that bullet ant colony.

Sakura was visiting the two guys he always saw guarding the main gate. Their names escaped him, and he wondered if his mind was trying to distract him from the empty-eyed girl on the bed.

Yuurei-nii was at the left side of the bed, and a pair of familiar faces were on the right.

"Ruto-nii," the little girl who was sitting on that bedside said, hopping off her chair and walking up to him and clutching his leg. " _You're_ okay, right?"

Naruto looked at the little girl with auburn hair looking up at him with blind panic on her face. "Ushio-chan?"

"You stumbled into our bakery in quite a state yesterday morning, cousin. Melonpan was not all you needed."

Naruto looked up at the woman sitting by Kuzuko's bed, who favoured him with a gentle smile.

"Nagisa-nee," he said with a small smile. "Figures the owner of the best bakery to let me buy in town is family."

Then a firm hand clutched on his shoulder. He looked up to see Okazaki Tomoya giving him a stern look.

"Ushio got even more worried after she found out you really _were_ her nii-san," Nagisa's husband said.

Naruto gave Tomoya an apologetic smile, then crouched down. "Ushio, you and your ka-san take pills, right?"

Ushio nodded slowly.

"Most Uzumaki do. I was being silly and not taking mine," he explained. "And that made me weak, and silly. My friend Lee takes like, eight a day, so I was really being silly. So, check with your parents first, but you take what the doctors tell you after that."

The girl nodded so hard, Naruto was worried she might hurt herself. Then a look of sadness came over her. "Kuzu-nee's not doing good, Ruto-nii."

Ushio gently pulled on his hand, leading him beside her mother. She was lifted into her mother's lap. Naruto cursed his height, then knelt on the chair Ushio had vacated.

"Kuzu-nee," Ushio said, attempting to be bright. "Ruto-nii's here to see you!"

Slowly the young woman in the bed turned to look at him. And kami, he remembered just _hearing_ about some of his ANBU caretakers dying when he was a kid. Had he looked this haunted? He hadn't _seen_ any of them die, but...

"She wanted to meet you properly so much," Kuzuko said, snapping him out of his reflection. "She'd... just gotten a message from Yuugao-nee this morning before we headed out... said she was bending the rules slightly telling me but--" her breath hitched-- "-- the Hokage would look the other way for family's sake."

He took her hand. And that strange sense he was doing something, being something, like when he'd told off Shikamaru yesterday, came over him. "Kuzuko, did Sachiko... give you our seal?"

Kuzuko smiled weakly. "As soon as the adoption cleared."

"Good. We'd get it for you, if you didn't have it."

She blinked at him.

"You still have family," Naruto said firmly. "We're here for you."

She slowly smiled, and squeezed his hand. "I felt... selfish, cause Ka-san just died in front of me, and part of me was panicking that I wasn't an Uzumaki anymore--"

"We may fall," Naruto prompted.

"... but not like this," Kuzuko finished. "It... was Ka-san's day to be wrong, and... Sage and his Six Paths, Naruto!"

He just let his cousin cling to him a bit before he had to move on.

Seemed like it was enough, for now.

##

Shimura Danzou knew he was not a demonstrative man. Emotionally. He was a sadist who knew where to channel it, and was only half joking when he assured everyone he still had a conscience, and then pointed to his better half. He didn't quite know what to do with his 'good' arm when hugging someone-- even said ANBU commanding better half. It's not that he didn't care, it was simply that way of showing care had always felt odd to him.

And yet...

When Naruto had asked him to hold the young girl orphaned by No-Family-Name-Anymore-Lest-He-Stain-It Sarubo, he just naturally was able to brace her perfectly. The attendant inin-- the Hospital Head's adopted son, Kabuto-- praised him on it.

He'd been the same way with That Boy (which would surprise many, given his avowed public opinion on his grandson Tetsuo-- that he was just That Boy) and his own son Ougami, and even Anko, Shin, and Sai. It puzzled him, but he'd let Naruto avail himself of this odd skill.

Though it was hard to keep up his 'I'm only doing this to keep face and really hate it' look with the baby girl cooing at him so until the other attendants cleared the room. Including some of his own agents-- he'd make clear to Flying Squirrel that whatever her clan's vaunted taijutsu masters called 'practice', he could make seem like a walk in the park. The Rock member would regret that smirk, oh, yes...

"Kabuto-sensei," Naruto said, "besides the enlarged coils... geez, that's actually kinda lewd sounding. Besides the change to her chakra system...?"

"She's a perfectly normal baby of her age," the inin said tersely, casting a glare out the window.

"Any family?" Danzou prompted, as Naruto put down the chart he'd been reading and held out his arms.

"Her parents were orphans. He was from The End. The Gultch, actually. Once served the crown there as a squadie. She was from Kells. Healer," Kabuto said sadly. "They came here to start a family at last with the High Queen's blessing, married by King Deschain himself. Now... they were all this little one had."

"Incorrect," Naruto said firmly. "She has her clan."

"Naruto...?" Danzou prompted.

"See?" Naruto said, tilting the baby so inin and Yami could see her right shoulder.

Where on there was a tiny, growing in visibility spiral. An Uzumaki.

"That... wasn't there when she came in..." Kabuto began.

"Mongoose," Naruto said firmly. "As the Hokage's selected successor, I'm asking you to consider this... well... a 'ramen related incident'."

Kabuto smirked briefly. "Even use a voice changer in the damn mask."

"I was raised around ANBU. And you push at your glasses the way you do at your mask. This..." he nodded his head at the baby and made a quick face, making her giggle, "is Uzumaki Watari."

"As her records say, you offered her parents clan ties here. If I remember correctly," Danzou said, smiling slightly.

"Exactly, make sure Pancake-jii puts the files where folks can find them, would you Yami-jii?"

"And I'll just update the charts, putting her down as 'unnamed girl #1,' such an oversight,' Kabuto fussed. "Naruto."

Naruto nodded goodbye and left, Danzou in his wake.

"Well played, Uzumaki-sama. Your cousins are going to close ranks around you and that girl like you were the Kage's tower in an invasion."

"Of course," Naruto said firmly. "We're Uzumaki."

##

**1816 h. Team Anko HQ.**

"You're... only thirteen--"

"Almost 14," Naruto noted.

Sakura pressed on, "Fourteen, fine, Naruto--"

"There are genin your age who are the sole rice-buyers in their household, Sakura," Danzou noted. "Naruto as a father at his age is not that much of a stretch."

"Well-- Ka-san and Tou-san--"

Yuugao passed Watari back to the annoyingly endearing nin that was insisting he was a father. "Too busy with their work. And as a whole... your family is too busy talking itself into and out of political suicide on a daily basis, Sasuke's is too small... and most other clans only have members that can understand her condition because they are Uzumaki that married in."

"So... what about his cousins--"

"Sakura," Sai said gently. "He is head of clan. Some idiot in the branches suggests to Hiashi they try and override the adoption? That they just dispel the Uzumaki clan seal and take her in? 'But I can't go against the head of our Allies, the Uzumaki!'"

Sakura sighed. "It's just... you're dealing with so much already!"

"Is Sakura-nee forgetting I've got my team and clan and the Fuin and Sai to help me?" Naruto said to the tiny girl, who cooed a bit.

"Yay! Sai got mentioned!" the Ne said with much 'cheer'.

"Naruto, babies are--"

"Mm, Watari? Should I tell her how I was one of the ones helping look after the newborn 'unfavourites' back before Jii-jii cleaned up the orphanage?"

"... how old is she?" Sakura asked.

"Almost a year," Sasuke said, sighing. "There's signs he bathed her in the blood of his victims. Not quite starved enough to kill her."

"I read the report," Sakura said.

"But you're an Uzumaki now, aren’t you, Watari?" Naruto said. "And you're my girl, so half the ANBU in town are gonna be your instant nii-san and nee-san."

Sakura blinked. "And... seven samurai."

"And any other number of higher ups," Danzou noted drily. "All because you somehow, in the space of seconds, marked her with your clan seal."

"Clan Seal?" Sakura prompted.

Yuugao turned her back to them and pulled the right side of the tank top she was wearing to one side by the arm strap. There was a moment, then a spiral appeared-- an Uzumaki clan symbol, with several mojikara radicals settled among its bends. Right there on her right shoulder by the spine. Some of the mojikara, Sakura noticed, formed words. _Enman, ai_ , _douchisei_ , and _tenken_ stood out.

"The _Enman no Uzufuin_ ," Yuugao said.

"Smoothness Spiral Seal?" Sakura puzzled. "Or... does enman read as tranquility or... peace. The Spiral Peace Seal."

Yuugao turned back. "That last one is best. Uzumaki do not kill Uzumaki-- not directly."

"Enman, ai... love?" Yuugao nodded. "And... been a while since basic sealing... but the circle in traditional sealing, inside is what's to be protected or a desired result, which is the peace and love at the center of spiral."

"It's both, in this case," Naruto said helpfully.

"So both to protect and promote the peace and the love between Uzumaki, you call on douchisei, the principle of equivalency... and tenken... that's not _divine_ punishment, is it?"

"No," Yuugao agreed. "In this case it's natural defense. To every violent act against a fellow Uzumaki, an equal natural defense. When my cousin Yuhirei and I were sparring once as teens, he got upset at his progress and mustered Ki against me. But he didn't really want to kill me, so when he took a swing of his sword at me in that state, he merely froze at the start. It hasn't outright killed anyone since... Mito's days. That one died trying to kill the clan head so he could replace her."

"And you placed it in a few seconds, Naruto," Danzou pressed.

"If you have a question, ask," Naruto shot back.

"You'd think he'd learn," the Hokage said, entering the sitting room and waving off any attempts to stand and bow.

"I have an image--" Danzou began.

"Name one person here who doesn't know it's at least partly a facade," Sai muttered.

Danzou sighed. "Naruto, how did you place a clan symbol on that little girl so fast?"

Naruto looked at Yuugao. "Red Cat-nee, remember that time Chouji brought some of his dad's explosive tags to academy, and we all decided to see what would happen if we pumped as much chakra as we could in one?"

Sasuke winced. "I was amazed the one you charged didn't blow us all away."

Yuugao smiled. "We figured out later that Naruto did what any Uzumaki would and re-shaped the blast."

"Sure," Naruto agreed, sighing as he gently passed his daughter to the Hokage. "Any Uzumaki with decent control could do that."

##

There was a pause.

"Naruto," Sakura said, cocking her head and leaning forward, "Your chakra control sucks. Your best jutsu either aren't sensitive to finesse or require so much chakra it doesn't matter."

"Yep," Naruto agreed, pulling a piece of paper and a brush pen from the inner pocket of his coat. "Sasuke, remember all the times you marveled at how simple my storage seals looked?"

"Of course I remember," Sasuke said, as Naruto's hand began to fly across the paper, "after that first desk trick you pulled on Iruka, you got testy with me when I said I was surprised how much you could jam into a seal with only two prongs-- oh, yes, like that one."

Yuugao chuckled. "Common mistake. Whatever the seal is on is what's holding the items. The seal is the door and lock. The release condition is the key. You must have an elaborate personal matrix key seal to hold all the references for the simplified elements."

Naruto smirked. "No. Don't have a personal key yet. I just tend to make my seal specific keys more complex than 'pulse chakra'."

And he dropped his pen, held his hand over the seal, and smirked as it glowed.

The paper glowed too, his chakra playing over it... and more prongs and mojikara appeared, forming a bog standard Konoha containment seal.

Everyone except the Hokage blinked, stunned.

"You didn't shape the explosion..." Yuugao realized.

"Nope. I changed the algorithm," Naruto paused and smiled at Hiruzen's pleased hum, "the seal held defining the explosion. This is why I took up sealing so young. I also can read seals almost as good as Sasuke's clan can read bodies. Jii-jii gave me Sealing is Simple, Sealing isn't Easy when I was six, right after a ramen related incident."

Sakura turned and shot a look at Sasuke.

"He's never given me a hint," the Uchiha said.

"Given we weren't sure we'd get my thumbs back on," Naruto countered flatly, "you can understand why we seldom go into detail about it."

"You could-- always do this?" Sakura wondered.

Naruto smirked. "Natsumikun calls it 'semblance'. Told me they call it 'ka-mojo' out on Sphere's End. Hay calls it 'natural presence'. His mother's danger sense, so sharp she doesn't realize she's dodging. Her father Cobra called it ' _Abtal Iilgha Aijtinab Tfad'_ \-- The Champion's Cancelling Avoidance, roughly. Kashi-nii calls his Sougou-- his brain's super charged when it comes to putting things together, composing, _synthesizing_. His little parting gift from his friend Obito is almost overkill."

"Hyouji," Sasuke said. "The most natural overt expression of one's chakra. Like Neji's eye sight, further and sharper than a typical Hyuuga's."

"That's the passive effect, anyway; it's like me 'getting' seals. He likely has a more active expression too. I'm willing to guess Rock Lee's amps up how chakra enhances his body, given what he can do," Naruto said. "Tenten likely has something that contributes to accuracy."

"What do you call-- wait," Sakura said, smiling. "Let me guess. Your Hyouji... is Mojikara."

Naruto snorted. "What the fuck else?"

Danzou slowly nodded. "So you... using your own chakra... gave Watari the Enman no Uzufuin while we were talking."

"Still working on range," Naruto admitted. "And my affinity makes it even more tempting to get to the point I can place seals on the air. But yeah. Get within ten feet of me, I can put a seal on you."

Danzou's uncovered eye widened, then he turned to Hiruzen. "He needs to talk to Gemma and the rest of your KeiBu guard. And his father's cousin."

Hiruzen considered this, and slowly nodded. "If anyone could take advantage..."

"What?" Naruto asked.

"... after his birthday," the Hokage decided, his expression growing impish.

Naruto glared at the duo of Kage and Yami, and then down at Watari. "See, Watari-chan, this is what happens when nin get old. They get devious."

"Before that, if they want to survive," Danzou noted blandly. Tapioca wouldn't melt in his mouth.

"And they think they're funny," Naruto added.

Hiruzen and Danzou looked at each other. "Damn," Hiruzen said, shaking his head. "I hoped we could escape the scourge of Old Shinobi Humour."

Danzou sighed. "Didn't come as soon as it did for Sensei and Tobirama-sama, at least."

"There there," Sai said, patting his boss's shoulder, "at least you're sharp enough to realize it."

"Not sure that's a blessing, Sai," Danzou said.

"Neither am I," the Ne agreed with a grin.

One of the servant panels opened.

"Hokage-sama," Raccoon began.

"Damn it, Jii-jii," Naruto groused, "is every 'moment' the Hokage has interrupted by official business?"

"I actually ran the numbers once," Danzou admitted wryly. "Only three in ten."

"Ah," Naruto said, nodding. "So they balance out relatively low frequency by being Log-damn annoying."

"Exactly, you've sussed it," Hiruzen agreed. "What is it, Shin?"

Raccoon popped off his mask. "The heads of the Tobacconist Guild, the Weavers, the Konoha Lotto Group, the Teamsters Guild, and three civilian clan heads are attempting to call a full government meeting. Not requesting. Ordering it."

Hiruzen's gaze narrowed. "Oh?" he said dangerously, as Watari began to fuss.

"Oh, Cake-oyabun is gonna be miffed," Naruto muttered.

"After what he had to do to the last Teamster head that crossed Saru, yes," Danzou muttered back.

"What bump in the Arena?" Sasuke noted drily.

"Like Kogami's men would be that sloppy," Sakura huffed.

"And they attempted to get some of the ANBU to run the messages to summon the rest of the Shisanjikai," the older Ne continued.

"I see," Hiruzen said, nonchalantly taking the bottle on the table, heating it with a glowing hand for an instant before offering it to the newest Uzumaki. "Trying to call the whole town government, hm?"

"And the Weaver head, Oichi, she referred to you, Homura-jii-sama, Ko-baa-sama, and Danzou-sama in turn as: the gelded monkey, the half dead dog, the squinting bitch, and the true power of Konoha."

Danzou pinched the bridge of his nose. "Daft old fool?"

"Yes, he who dogs my every step?" the Hokage answered.

"What statute of the village's code am I thinking of?"

"We can't have seven council members killed and used to test my newest blade over this, Danzou," Hiruzen said. "Regretfully."

"Not that one," Danzou half growled. "Although I'd hold out for one that lets Baku and Enma deal with the Weaver..."

"I think he means by-law 14 of the Council's rules of order, Jii-jii," Naruto supplied.

Danzou pointed a finger at him. "Homura actually made you copy out the by-laws after that attempt to make Ramen Day a thing?"

"Stood over me, too, so I couldn't... be fully efficient," Naruto groused.

Sasuke snapped his fingers. "That's how you can keep up on all those letters, your Hyouji can do normal writing too."

Naruto shrugged. "It's why Iruka-sensei stopped assigning me lines."

"What's by-law 14?" Sakura prompted.

"Well, in plain Higo (because of course Pancake-jii wanted me to understand the damn thing), only the Hokage or a member of the Go-Ikeban can call a full meeting of the Shisanjikai, also called the Shikai," Naruto explained. "And the Hokage can dismiss or cancel any meeting, though it's bad form if he called it."

Sakura puzzled over the pun, then turned to Danzou. "Does a meeting of it--"

"--Really make you feel as lifeless as cold ashes?" Danzou finished. "Depends on if one of the Go-Ike has had to kill anyone in front of them lately."

"Ah, suppose that makes sense."

"The punishment for overstepping on that," Naruto mused, tapping his temple, "is... ah, right, a fine equal to one month of the council member's pay, a week in the local jail at the Hokage's option, and a notation of contempt toward the Hokage on their file. Three of those, and you can't serve anymore."

"I'm taking that jail option, Shin, pass word to the KeiBu," Hiruzen said.

"Ah, one other thing-- I have somehow come across this little list of names, Hokage-sama--"

"How many of the bastards were sticking their fingers into the Academy?" Hiruzen growled.

"Three," Shin said. "Tobacconist Guild Head, the Weaver, and the head of the Makabe clan."

"Looking the other way, closing my ears," Hiruzen said, turning away and cooing over the baby cradled in his hands. "Your tou-san's jii-jii has got such terrible hearing when he's holding a cute little girl, doesn't he, Watari-chan? Yes he does!"

"They'll 'accidentally' get transferred to the Volcano tomorrow morning," Danzou said, with a nasty grin.

"As they threatened to 'accidentally' send refugees back to the Bloody Mist, got it," Shin agreed.

"And give the warden a note for the prisoner officers. Since we sadly could not return Mizuki to them for them to express their displeasure-- we put him to death this morning--" he nodded to Naruto and his friends, and even as he gave Danzou a nod, Naruto saw Sasuke's satisfied smirk and bumped Sakura's offered fist-- "at someone harming the Leaf's children, they may have these three. Ask the warden to make sure guards and inmates alike take it slow, and they stay in gen pop. And they don't get to suicide. Assisted or otherwise. I want them back here as wrecks after their week."

"Danzou-sama--" Sai began.

"Did you finish your chores?" the Darkness of Shinobi began.

"I just need to take the trash to the incinerator before bed," Sai replied.

"Then, yes, you can help your brother make the traitors disappear and suffer tomorrow."

"Yay!" Sai hugged him, and Danzou winced, half hugging back, half pushing him off.

Danzou-jii was funny that way.

"Alright, alright. Just make sure the Seals have a guard on Naruto before you do it," Danzou said firmly.

Sai sobered. "Of course, Yami-sama."

"Go. Keep it in the root cellar, boys."

Sai nodded to Team Seven. "Smiles, Ugly, Small Dick," he said.

"See you around, Sai," Naruto said. "You know, if needed."

The Ne smirked. "Otherwise, I'll just be around, yes."

The panel closed behind Sai and his older brother. Hiruzen turned back.

"Ahem, I didn't miss anything while I was being a doddering old fool cooing over a baby, did I?" he asked.

"Nothing the Hokage needed to have direct knowledge of, Jii-jii," Naruto said. Mochii wouldn't be cut by his teeth.

"Good, good. Here, take little Watari a moment," Hiruzen said, and Naruto had to snort at Danzou's put upon frown. The man was good at holding babies.

"Sakura-kun," the Hokage prompted, "would you mind taking a message to your cousin Hanako?" He took some paper from one of his sleeves and a brush pen from the other. Then he paused, smirked, and handed Naruto the paper. "Since you stole Chiaki, and Hanako starts tomorrow..."

"Bah. Fine. You know I'm no good at forging with it yet--"

"Just your best formal script, Naruto," the Hokage assured him.

##

"Much as I fear what horrible prankster cutie he's going to raise... if anyone in his age bracket can be a father, it's Naruto," Danzou finally admitted, once they'd cleared the door and cast a rather nifty privacy genjutsu that convinced listeners they were talking about a go game. He wasn't sure he truly knew every non-clan jutsu despite his reputation, but Hiruzen figured he got by.

"He has clan to help now, despite the best efforts of others," Hiruzen noted, then frowned, dismissing his genjutsu with a gesture. "Kiddo-kun."

"Sarutobi-sama," the Cael-born Uzumaki said, carefully staying with the KeiBu watching over him. Because the idiot _had_ snuck into the village first. "Thank you, _sir_ , for bringing my wife and son safely home. I'm... sorry it cost you so many of yours."

"The situation with Sarubo was not related to your arrival," Hiruzen said firmly. "It is our _duty_ to protect our citizens, which I believe you hope to be...?"

"I've got skills that can maybe aid in that defense, _sir._ And I'm not sure if it filtered up to you or got lost in the hubbub. But I came here in advance of the caravan we hitched most of the way with. Trade caravan--"

"Due here tonight, yes, it's a regular visitor. The owner of the company... is a very dear friend of my family; I believe the man that helped save your wife and child is also her kin." Hiruzen favoured the young father with a smile. "Are you concerned for them? They come from the ports of South Hi, and every indication is that arse was heading north..." He trailed off at the young man's head shake. "Then...?"

"We were traveling with another Uzumaki. And her wife."

Hiruzen leaned forward. " _Her_ wife?"

Kiddo raised an eyebrow. "Made mention they were married here... have social mores changed a might bit?"

"Her wife... she was greying?" Danzou prompted.

"We called it 'salt and pepper hair' back in Cael," Kiddo said. "Theran-- but you know... well, sane."

"Did your fellow Uzumaki say where she grew up?" Hiruzen asked, and he had to fight to keep his questions careful.

"Said she grew most her early life in that place west of here, small country... Nami! That was it. And then some pirates-- not Peacemains, the sort _King_ Monkey would kill given five seconds of their company-- they kidnapped her, sold her to Theran slavers. She showed us all the mark--"

"On her left shoulder," Hiruzen finished.

"Because they couldn't brand over or near the clan mark on her right," Danzou added.

"Field Mouse," Sarutobi said, and knew Kiddo only saw him address air. "I want to meet that caravan."

"As you wish," the Ne replied, and rather than being spooked the Caelum got a look of understanding.

"I believe I know this Uzumaki rather well," Hiruzen assured the newcomer. "Go. Be with your wife and child."

" _Sir_?" the Uzumaki asked, puzzlement on his face. "She... seemed to know about Naruto, our clan head...?"

"Better than not knowing she was coming," Hiruzen sighed. "Go. You should have an explanation tomorrow."

Kiddo slowly nodded-- acceptance, for now-- and took his leave.

"Well," Hiruzen said.

"Well," Danzou agreed, then slowly smirked. "How do you think they'll take to being baa-chan to two generations?"

"I'm just now realising I should have asked if the thief was with them," Hiruzen countered.

He rather enjoyed the look of anguish Danzou gave him at that thought.


End file.
